well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
