The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
