Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
