I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You took a bar mat shot.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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