u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
