Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
