She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
