I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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