you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
