Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
