Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
