Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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