So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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