I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
