Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
