Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
