she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
