You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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