so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
