Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
