im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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