We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize