my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
