U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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