I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
