omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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