Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
