BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
