So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
