So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
