I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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