I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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