Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
