Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
