sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
