I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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