Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
