he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
