Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
