i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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