just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I CAN MOONWALK!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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