We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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