At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i dont even know how to be here
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
