you told grandpa to call you daddy
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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