I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
