Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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