"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
