glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
