Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
