You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
