i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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